Small purple ninja's

Late Merry Christmas!
I've decided to go into the everlasting argument sweeping the nation!
Are ninja's real and are they better than Pirates?
Well I am here to answer this question!
Inspiring and decisive, I am the best person TO answer this imprtant minnd boggling question!
I am a proud supporter of both ninja's and Pirates, so I can argue either side, so lets start with the first question. The answer is yes, ninja's are real. They are mostly the people you would expect them to be ninja's. Like the old cat lady everyone knows and loves, or the lonely bachelor with thte huge house, tons of money and time on their hands, Batman, and of course......me.
I recived a small purple ninja for Christmas from my dear friend the Bar of soap. It was magnificent and apporpriate. Anyways I use it for practicing my mad ninja skills.
But Pirates those guys are pretty sweet too, I mean sure you can't jump from out of the shadows and star someone in the head, but you do get to swing from ropes, fight giant squids, pillage and plunder, wear eye patches, get drunk almost every night... I mean a pirates life is more than it seems!
So if I were to pick between riding off with my mates, boose, and gold, or jumping off buildings, asassanating people in their sleep, and appearing out of no where I'd have to pick a ninja/pirate and do all of those wonderful, things!
So all of you morons out there that fight about which is better.....just choose the better choice and say to your friends, " Yeah I'd be a cross breed between ninja and pirate so I get ALL the goodies."
Then walk off with attitude that says, that's right you better watch your back and lock up your family. Because I rock.
Then run up a wall and kick someones head off screaming ARG! That'll get your point across real nicely!

I rock.