Thursday, December 18, 2008

The sluggish feeling of nothing and everything

Have you ever been alone, and it was exactly what you wanted?
You get a choice between having company or not and you choose to be all alone. You think, "hey wouldn't it be nice to just have a day to do nothing all by myself?"
You tell everyone you just need your quiet time and you'll be fine if they went out to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy. Then after about thirty minutes of quiet you start thinking, " geese, no one's going to come up and surprise me with their company! They thought I was serious! Well that was a mistake."
You get restless and you do everything that can be done in your house and now you're going crazy screaming, "WHY DID I SAY THAT?! WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO?!" and you still have like three hours left. You start watching the cars out the window hoping it's someone you know well enough to run at, " hey HEY you know me! Come in....what? oh who cares your grandma can wait forty more minutes, the doctors won't move her! She's not going anywhere. Come in! I'll make you tea."
Yeah you're so desperate you offer them tea. Once you convince them to stay you start getting annoyed at them for being there. Why did you invite them? Dang! This person is really starting to suck! Now you just get pissed off, you say, "well it was nice of you to drop by but I think your grandma is dying. Maybe you should go help her die. No no I just want to be alone. No it's okay I really just want a day to myself. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!" of course they tell everyone not to visit because they'll just piss you off and the fact they do that just starts to pissing you off! They leave you to help their grandma and left you all alone in a house where you've done everything entertaining, so there's nothing left to do but to call people. You give your other friends a call they all say, "oh I'm busy, and besides Carol told me you were a little moody today. Yeah you kicked her out screaming she was a bad person for not going strait to the hospital. Her grandma was dying and she wasn't going to rest until she saw you." And you say, " oh please. you know....no one likes Carol anyways! I mean who does? You know I like you! Come on!" After they promise to come over you start looking for an excuse to get out of it. you think "damn, that was a mistake. Now I have to entertain, I should have known." you start pacing, you think maybe if you start doing stuff they'll see you're busy and leave. You bake something, with your music up so loud your neighbors think, "Uh honey, we should go out tonight. I have a feeling the girl next door is in the alone syndrome stage! Let's go see a movie, then go out to eat, then go bowling!" They want out, because they know what's coming next.
After you invite all your friends over and everyone but you is having a goodtime, you start to get easily annoyed by everything they do and say until you blow up and start fights.Everyone is screaming at each other and you can't take it, " ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ALONE! EVERYONE GET OUT!" everyone leaves and you lay down on your bed to think why you feel so bipolar, when finally you fall asleep.
When you wake up you realize, " hey that was what I needed! I nap!"
why didn't you think that one up before you made everyone crazy? it was so simple!

So if you need a day to yourself and nothing is working, sleep! Because the world will be grateful for it! And the world will be much sweeter when you wake.

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