Monday, December 29, 2008

Small purple ninja's

Late Merry Christmas!
I've decided to go into the everlasting argument sweeping the nation!
Are ninja's real and are they better than Pirates?
Well I am here to answer this question!
Inspiring and decisive, I am the best person TO answer this imprtant minnd boggling question!
I am a proud supporter of both ninja's and Pirates, so I can argue either side, so lets start with the first question. The answer is yes, ninja's are real. They are mostly the people you would expect them to be ninja's. Like the old cat lady everyone knows and loves, or the lonely bachelor with thte huge house, tons of money and time on their hands, Batman, and of
I recived a small purple ninja for Christmas from my dear friend the Bar of soap. It was magnificent and apporpriate. Anyways I use it for practicing my mad ninja skills.
But Pirates those guys are pretty sweet too, I mean sure you can't jump from out of the shadows and star someone in the head, but you do get to swing from ropes, fight giant squids, pillage and plunder, wear eye patches, get drunk almost every night... I mean a pirates life is more than it seems!
So if I were to pick between riding off with my mates, boose, and gold, or jumping off buildings, asassanating people in their sleep, and appearing out of no where I'd have to pick a ninja/pirate and do all of those wonderful, things!
So all of you morons out there that fight about which is better.....just choose the better choice and say to your friends, " Yeah I'd be a cross breed between ninja and pirate so I get ALL the goodies."
Then walk off with attitude that says, that's right you better watch your back and lock up your family. Because I rock.
Then run up a wall and kick someones head off screaming ARG! That'll get your point across real nicely!

I rock.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Evil cackle

You know, not alot of people can give a convincing evil cackle.
I've heard some pretty evil cackles in my day, but others are just ridicules!

I mean come on people! If you are going to claim to have a sincerely evil cackle practice it a bit. Make sure it's bone chilling, so evil you'd make Satan say, "sheesh. I thought my cackle was evil, but that guy.....that was just frightening!"
And he'd have to say it with that annoying gay man lisp too.
So evil you make Satan gay!

Sadly not everyone has the evil gene. They are usually the ones that seem evil, and claim to be pretty maniacal but in reality are just huge tards.
I hate those people.
They always tend to piss me off the most. ( yes, even more than fat people do. )

I should explain my "dislike" for fat people before all you fatties take offense.
Okay I admit sometimes it's just in your DNA to be fat, both your parents have unfortunate figures, what are you going to do?
But the rest of just piss me off. You whine about how you're fat and you eat more! It was YOUR choice to eat your feelings and relatives, so don't piss off the rest of us with your choice. I don't go around pissing and moaning at everyone saying, " I would but I'm just to obnoxious! Sure I chose to be obnoxious today, but I'm going to blame you." Or a gay guy, they don't go around crying to the world they hate having to wear tights. Again their choice.

Anyways back to cackles.
Cackles define the very core of your evilness, so please, PLEASE! If you are going to have an evil cackle make sure it's EVIL!
Evil as in eating babies, Evil as in stealing food from the homeless, Evil as in taking drugs from an addict and replacing them with candy.
Thank you.
stay evil.

A Honeyless safety pin

Well it has happened!
My dear sweet honey jar has just taken an airplane to her hispanic terrain in chile.
This Aimee, is a shout out to you!

As you know I'm a hopeless case when it comes to family, friends, people in gerneral.
For some reason I just don't like people unless they posess some sort of awesome quality. And now I have no Aimee to sheild me from the stupidity of mankind. But it's not the end of the world. ( no not even in 2012. ) I'll just have to take on the world until you get back, either that or go back into my lazy home bum stage, which I never really got out of, it'll just be a more "hardcore" version!
Most of my time is now focused on the little white binder I have just for you~ I'm filling it with something or another everyday, and it's going to be so fat you'll have to get a ladder just to read it's guts out. ^_^

The snow is still falling, and will until you return, So I see you as my own little peice of spring! (I know, I'm so poetic and rommantic!) But seriously I'll always be waiting for you to come back and tell me I'm beautiful, and make me realize that I'm the best person the world posseses, and that united we dominate man, beast, and every super powered "hero" and villan! ( yes even Ironman. )
I miss you alot my honey, and I can't wait for you to come back!
( blush! ) Have a wink ;)
See you on the flipside babay!


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

One exciting night with my family and.........Frank.

Once upon a time there was a me.
I was having a crappy day, because I had to wake up early. Well to make my life more horrid it starts snowing. Blech.
My mom dares to address me while in my current mood to invite me to a little Christmas ritual gathering with my extended family.
I very much dislike those, so I invite my very good friend, or more like my boyfriend, ( I don't think I'm aloud to tell you what his name was so we'll call him.....Frank. )
So frank is pretty much excited about spending time with my family. Who wouldn't be?!
And we have this lovely ride in my parents car for an hour before!
Once we get to my aunts house we book it down stairs to avoid the awkwardness, of course why should I let Frank go live life unawkwardly? So I sick my demons on him.
He has a pleasant little rip on the bottom of his pants and I tell my cousins to rip it a little more to freak him out. You know to be a funny.
And my darling brother Torin get's a hold of this knowledge. ( big mistake.)
the second Frank stands up my brother rips his pants down to his ankles. The whole back of his pants were on the floor, and Frank went bright red.
I think it was my favorite night for the rest of my life.

The end

( insert my evil cackle. )

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Almost Death of Two Crazy Beans

Okay, so this is a story of me and my sister Jessie.
It is a true story so those with weak constitution may want to get a life.

Last night was like most nights at my house, boring. So I doddle into my room to listen to music and do some midwinter cleaning! ( My favorite! )
My sister had just gotten home and decided to come in to visit with me, laugh, have a jolly old time like sisters do! So we start being obnoxious and talking about Christmas presents.

I was in a pickle. I had drawn the name of my little brother Danny, and Danny is very hard to pick a gift for, I don't really know why he just is!
So we get some monies and decide we're not coming back until we have a grand gift for him. It gets dark, and we start playing my ghetto, bootilicious music and dancing like only two white girls can, ridiculously amazing. When I start to notice that my sister had turned into the wrong side of the road. Literally! There were cars coming strait at us!
It's Christmas shopping time, when I mean cars coming I mean a billion cars!
My darling sister just sits in the turn lane as all of these cars are headed for us, she says, "I wonder how far we can go?" I just look at her and scream at the top of my lungs, " FLIP! FLIP!"
A little light bulb sparks above my sisters head, and she flips the car around just in time. I'm in shock at this sudden near death experience, I look over to meet my sisters eyes and she starts laughing. No not just laughing, she was laughing hysterically like some huge fat guy broke a chair.
And she says, "That was a good idea! I was thinking I was going to keep driving, or drive over the median to the other side of the road!"
She kept laughing and I just sat there.

I mean yeah! The roads were slick, we were safe right?
Of course! No one was going to freak out, hit the breaks and come screeching into us!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

My awesomeness.

I just want to say, I'm awesome.
Most people like to think themselves as awesome, but you're not.
I am awesome.

Why am I just so awesome?
I think I'll tell you, but be warned, because my awesomeness is not to be attempted by people who are just not me.
( especially if you are NOT awesome. )

Okay here we go
The reasons as to why I, Becca, am so awesome.

Beginning the list will be reason number one, because one is usually the best place to start.

1. I have two different colored eyes!
Try that if you can with out the assistance of colored contacts.
2. I can make up the sweetest of bedtime stories. Just ask my little sister!
3. I can admit I make up sweet bedtime stories!
4. I can eat raw fish with a smile on my face!
5. I can survive a wild Banshee attack.
6. I am always upbeat, even in a bad mood!
7. I play the emu.
8. I caught a wild shark, ( not a tame one ) with my bare teeth.
9. I like to sing at the top of my lungs until they blow up.
10. I can regrow my lungs.
11. I make an unusual companion when bathing.
12. I can eat a whole wheel of Gouda cheese with out getting constipated!
13. I can use the F word in almost any setting.
14. I can cheer up the most bitchy of gold fish.
15. I love to dance naked in the rain!
16. I do wicked imitations of food.
17. I tend to entertain without meaning to.
18. I can think of these reasons without thinking!
19. I hate the taste of puke.
20. I can make music come out of the most unsightly places on my body!
21. Smiling makes me laugh.
22. I can't eat spaghetti without thinking of eating worms.
23. I don't agree with the world.
24. Moose.
25. everyone wants to be me. Or next to me....close enough.
27. I don't need a twenty sixth reason.
28. My toes are nuns.
29. Jesus is my home dog.
30. You read all the reasons above I just gave you.
31. I have purple hair.
32. I almost had dread locks.
33. I can carve a mean turkey.
34. I smell INCREDIBLE!
35. stoopid people make my day.
36. I am batman.
37. some people get me confused with Chewbaka.
38. I watch neg's urban sports.
39. My favorite number is 69.
39. I am going to steal a handicaps prosthetic leg.
40. I have two thirty nines.

So yeah I'm just that awesome.

The sluggish feeling of nothing and everything

Have you ever been alone, and it was exactly what you wanted?
You get a choice between having company or not and you choose to be all alone. You think, "hey wouldn't it be nice to just have a day to do nothing all by myself?"
You tell everyone you just need your quiet time and you'll be fine if they went out to enjoy whatever they want to enjoy. Then after about thirty minutes of quiet you start thinking, " geese, no one's going to come up and surprise me with their company! They thought I was serious! Well that was a mistake."
You get restless and you do everything that can be done in your house and now you're going crazy screaming, "WHY DID I SAY THAT?! WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO?!" and you still have like three hours left. You start watching the cars out the window hoping it's someone you know well enough to run at, " hey HEY you know me! Come in....what? oh who cares your grandma can wait forty more minutes, the doctors won't move her! She's not going anywhere. Come in! I'll make you tea."
Yeah you're so desperate you offer them tea. Once you convince them to stay you start getting annoyed at them for being there. Why did you invite them? Dang! This person is really starting to suck! Now you just get pissed off, you say, "well it was nice of you to drop by but I think your grandma is dying. Maybe you should go help her die. No no I just want to be alone. No it's okay I really just want a day to myself. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!" of course they tell everyone not to visit because they'll just piss you off and the fact they do that just starts to pissing you off! They leave you to help their grandma and left you all alone in a house where you've done everything entertaining, so there's nothing left to do but to call people. You give your other friends a call they all say, "oh I'm busy, and besides Carol told me you were a little moody today. Yeah you kicked her out screaming she was a bad person for not going strait to the hospital. Her grandma was dying and she wasn't going to rest until she saw you." And you say, " oh please. you one likes Carol anyways! I mean who does? You know I like you! Come on!" After they promise to come over you start looking for an excuse to get out of it. you think "damn, that was a mistake. Now I have to entertain, I should have known." you start pacing, you think maybe if you start doing stuff they'll see you're busy and leave. You bake something, with your music up so loud your neighbors think, "Uh honey, we should go out tonight. I have a feeling the girl next door is in the alone syndrome stage! Let's go see a movie, then go out to eat, then go bowling!" They want out, because they know what's coming next.
After you invite all your friends over and everyone but you is having a goodtime, you start to get easily annoyed by everything they do and say until you blow up and start fights.Everyone is screaming at each other and you can't take it, " ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ALONE! EVERYONE GET OUT!" everyone leaves and you lay down on your bed to think why you feel so bipolar, when finally you fall asleep.
When you wake up you realize, " hey that was what I needed! I nap!"
why didn't you think that one up before you made everyone crazy? it was so simple!

So if you need a day to yourself and nothing is working, sleep! Because the world will be grateful for it! And the world will be much sweeter when you wake.

The dull point

sometimes I just like to say that it's not fair.
I can't snowboard for my life, not fair.
I can't find the best place to go when I'm bored of inside, not fair.
We aren't friends they are, not fair.

I find the fact I have troubles opening up the way others do to complete strangers just not fair. I mean I can blog to how many strangers out there who read this, but that's mostly because we're not face to face.
And I don't have many strangers who read my blogs,
I really just don't have alot of people who read my blogs period!


I feel dull, colorless, lame, boring. Like a butter knife feels when it's compared to a steak knife.
I mean the butter knife isn't a bad knife, it can cut through anything with some work, but it's mostly used to spread butter, jam , cream cheese, ect. Steak knifes are exciting, dangerous, extreme! Why can't I be more like a steak knife?
It's gay.
I mean lot's of people can feel this way some of the time, like they're not being fun, like they're kind of non existent when they're around a certain group of people, but that's mostly because everyone feels like that when they first meet someone, even if they're hilarious and bubbly and out there. After an hour of doing something they warm up and start to click! I am always awkward around someone, unless I am already warmed up with the pressance of a really close friend, and even then I can still be a crumb.

Think of it this way, which would you choose?
A chunk of jello, a block of Swiss cheese, pumpkin pie, or a glass of water?
Obviously one of the fun sounding and interesting ones. Not water, it's ordinary. I mean sure it's pretty good when you're thirsty, but I mean just for looks, not alot of people would actually choose water.
I am that glass of water....usually.
Sometimes I can be Jello or Kool aid or something,
I think it's a disease.

Chocolate needs

Why do women need chocolate?

Simple question. I mean women are always saying to each other,"What I would give right now for some chocolate! Do you need it too? Let's take a chocolate break!" then you have the whole group yelling CHOCOLATE BREAK LET'S GO!
Sometimes I think it's bullshit.
Other times I think it's just Satan whispering into our ears, "psst! hey you! You know what would make you feel better? Chocolate. What? you don't feel bad? Well you are a selfish, whiny, angry person who takes it out on everyone else. Now that you feel like crap, go buy yourself twenty pounds of chocolate and gorge yourself."
I know what all you men are thinking right now too, you're thinking, " Whatever! Women just use it as an excuse to eat as much sugary treats they want....they don't NEED it."
And I just want to say to all you men right now, sure it sounds crazy, even to me but what would you say if we took that same argument and used it for your everyday needs for sex. Then what would you say?


But women actually NEED chocolate. I know that when I'm in an evil mood I hear Satan's whispers of supposed deceit. And I whisper back, " You're right! Who would know if I just took one small bite, then thirty huge ones more? just me and you!" I have those days as does lots of other women who are greedy enough to listen to Satan.
Sometimes I even agree with Satan. I just have those kinds of days. I just want to say, " Okay you're right stop tempting me I'll do it!"
At least I have some self control.
Of course I can choose not to eat chocolate. It's easy, I'll just eat ice cream!
And if not ice cream then I'll not eat anything until my normal diet becomes appealing again.
Maybe it's hormones, maybe it the X chromosome, but I know as a fact that chocolate for women tends to give more endorphins to women than men.
And men get more endorphins in sex than women. But I don't need to tell you who's doing the whispering. It's obvious, the men. Satan gives no help in that. Men are just naturally in need of it.

Well anyways human instincts still confuse me in ways. I guess if I can't find out, maybe no one will. Instincts mean that you don't need to learn it, it comes naturally, I just want to know, sometimes I need to know, why we know these things naturally?

One day my brain is going to blow up.

Is it?

There are times in my life where I think,"yeah that sounds right.."
but it doesn't "feel" right.
Is it?
Other times it feels right, and I think, "This shouldn't feel right.."
Is it?
Most times I want things to happen, and when they do I
Don't want it anymore, it's not really what I wanted,
Is it?
Sometimes I know I'm happy, and others I know when I'm sad.
But After that, I'm nothing,
what is it?
I know that I'm crazy, subnormal, and insane, but I don't
know if I'm normal, or if normal is crazy.
Is it?
I'm deep in thought today and it's mostly because I have nothing to stop me from thinking to much, that sounds pretty sad.
doesn't it?
But if the world had a reason, or purpose to have me in it I should be living it no matter what choice I made.
Is that right?
No one can tell you how or where or why, only you can determine that.
would you?
A question's a question, it should come with an answer, but if it has none what's the purpose.
Most questions I have don't come with a right or wrong answer, so does that make me stupid or smart?
If someone saw me as one thing, and I saw me as another what would that make me, or who would be right?
So I chose to blog today, just to get out of doing nothing, and something, that makes me an addict doesn't it?
Now for my last inquiry, One I have no bigger thought on than this,
If I can't say who I am, but others can define me for what I do, but what I do is a copy of the past me and influences of friends, which is altogether more influences, I'm driven by people I don't even know, so I don't know myself, but others do.....
that's just not fair,
is it?

This Title of Music!

Today I am going to blog to all of you, my blog reading fans about music!

I want to show you how much music can mean to anyone! Music can teach you about someone more than that person can tell you about themselves, it's just a fact. I mean you can hear all there is to say and they still surprise you with the music they listen to!

Why do we chose the songs we listen to? It's because somehow we relate to it. It can make us feel good, it can help us vent anger or depression, it can be about something you've been through that you don't think anyone can relate to. It touches us in ways men only dream of! ( okay bad example....but you get the Idea! )
The funny thing is most people find cigarettes and alcohol bad because it's "harmful and addicting" but no one tries to take away someones music preferences, and I see music as addictive as both cigarettes and alcohol! I mean I don't think I've gone one day for about twelve years without listening to at least three songs at the very least! And I would cry my sockets out if something happened to my Mp3 player I'd kill myself!
So before you put in those ear buds stop and think, what would I do with myself if I didn't have these?
Love music!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Phone Call from Hell

What would you do if your phone rang and your caller ID# was 666-6666 Hell?
Would you answer?

And if you did pick up, what would you say?
Hi Satan big fan, can I just say you got me last night, YOU GOT ME! ah it was good too.
I mean what else can you say?
Hey you know you shouldn't be calling right now, it's Sunday! You're a BAD man. Very evil for calling me on Sunday. Jerk.

I'd answer, and I know what I'd say too, I'd ask him how much I could get for my soul, you know? I'd say, "hey, what would you offer me for my soul Satan?" I bet he'd offer alot, like maybe the world or something, I'd take it! Then I'd rule the world, and make everyone wear Lieder Hosen, and girdles. Just to piss off the world, I mean what could they do, ask me to stop? That'd be a funny request, right up there with sugar free gum. "hey, I know you rule the world now, but can I just ask you to ummm....stop?"
The funny thing is after I ruled the world, and lived a great powerful life,and I was on my death bed, Satan would come to collect and I'd give him the finger because I decided I didn't want to go to hell! You know what I'd do?
I'd repent full heartedly and I'd go to heaven. That's right, I would trick the devil into giving me the world.

That's right.
Too bad Satan doesn't do personal phone calls anymore, not after that incident with Moses.

The Infamous Dogman

Today I was watching T.V. at about the time absolutely nothing good is on, you know when the dumb cartoons and soap opera stuff start....anyway and I was thinking, "I wonder what it would be like to be a dog, stuck in a humans body..." I don't know why I thought of it, it just popped into my head.
(That's how I get most of my ingenious hair brained schemes)
Anyway so then I pictured having the disgusting instincts and habits most dogs possess, such as licking their privates and eating their own ( and others ) vomit, drinking from toilets, you get the idea!
Then I thought, "That would be so funny if some random person started sniffing another another's butt while they were in mid conversation! Or if some idiot started screaming at a car while trying sadly to catch up!" That's when I realized that mans best friend, AKA dogs, are complete Tards.

Funny thing was while I was thinking this my two dogs were lying on the ground in front of me, dead asleep, and they were snoring louder than my dad does when he has a cold. ( and that's freakin' LOUD! ) I started cracking up, as I do when ever I even look at those two mugs. Then I screamed to wake them up, and they snapped their heads up to look at me, they looked completely drunken, but they came at me to lick me and stuff like that's what I wanted. Dogs always assume that every time you make a noise, or move to get more comfortable, you want them to come over and start licking your face.

Then another image popped into my head, taking a walk. Have you ever taken your dog on a walk? You get all excited about making your dog happy, they're bouncing and twitching, and you're giving them this pep talk about how they're about to have the time of their life! ( kind of like small children in an ice cream store )
Then the second you get outside you're like, " Holy freak, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" they're tugging you, pissing everywhere and taking dumps in your neighbors lawns. They want to chase everything they see, like they're on crack, "Holy crap man did you see that car? IT WAS LIKE A GIANT STEAK ON WHEELS! BUT IT WAS SINGING! LETS GO CHASE IT!" or "OH NO, THAT MAIL MAN JUST WAVED AT ME.......THAT BASTARD! DID YOU SEE THAT?! THAT'S IT!
it's ridiculous!

Now picture that but in human form, like you're walking your brother and he has a sudden urge to sniff every corner you pass like it's filled with secrets.
He starts shaking his butt and bouncing screaming, "HEY! that corner smells like my best friend! Lets piss on it!"
After you pull him away he gives you this guilty face, but it only lasts until the next corner. That's when I started to appreciate not having a dogman as a brother.

And that's also when I thanked God for gold fish.

Monday, December 8, 2008


One of my favorite days in the world was thanksgiving.
Sure I got to see family, and eat twice my body weight in food, but nothing makes me happier than just enjoying the strange things my brother comes up with then spreads on to my cousins.

You know when something you say makes someone else laugh, and then like three minutes later they say it to someone else to seem funny? Well my little brother is awesome, because he is constantly making up so sweet saying to scream in people's faces!
And I'm going to share you this magnificent story!

My brother has been saying it here and there a couple days before the holidays, who knows why...but anyways when the cousins came he said it again and they thought it was hysterical! So by the time the food was ready to be eaten all the male cousins started screaming SPIDERMAN WEBSHOOTER!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Leider Hosen

So I've decided that if I could choose what country was to rule the world I think it would have to be Germany!
No, not just because of the chocolate and meat, but because they invented Leider Hosen.
Leider Hosen, ( to all of you who don't know what they are..) are the shorts that fat German kids wear when their parents take them yodeling!
You see my little brother is in this German concert tonight and he gets to wear Leider Hosen while he sings!
I wish that some power hungry German would take over the world and we'd all have to wear them, and not just while yodeling! ALL THE TIME! I don't know why they hold such wonder to me.....maybe it's because my brother looks so freaking cute in them, maybe it's just because they're so sweet and the world should know of their sweetness, or it might just be because you look even cooler while you yodel.
( Yes I yodel! )

If the whole world wore Leider Hosen eventually we'd all start using German exclamations like ACH!( that's the guttural sound Germans make, you know the sweet sound you always make when you think of Hitler? )
Anyways another reason they sound so sweet is because they're really high on guys and if you haven't seen guys in short shorts it would be such a treat for you!
It's hilarious! ( I know because my dad used to wear them in the eighties and my mom has the pictures.....*SHUDDER* )
No seeing my dad in short shorts was not a treat but you get the idea! Anyways those are my thought on Leider Hosen!
Stay tuned to hear what I think about Girdles.


You know, sometimes you men get too much for us to handle.
I mean sometimes we feel like your way of venting, other times like you don't care at all, and mostly you just make us freaking run for the hills.

I have so many of my girlfriends telling me what her boyfriend is doing wrong, like he makes me feel desperate because all he wants to do when we're together is make out, or he won't text me back, sometimes I feel like he just uses me and I let him because I like him alot, or even he lets me hold his hands on good days, it makes me so happy!

You see?!
you make us into these needy, whiny, nervous wrecks and it annoys you to death so you ignore us more! Well I'm tired of it. I want every woman out there who is mad and misused by her boyfriend, husband, or lover to just do this one thing for me, and if you don't feel better, then you really need help.
Okay first, make yourself unreachable, next find some place you could stay all day, prepare with snacks a book movies whatever you like, drawing material a journal, then I want you to go to your place, get comfortable and just enjoy your day with out his constant twinge in the back of your mind! Just don't think about him, think about you, if you can't stop thinking, then occupy your mind with something until it washes him out.

Men, if your woman is untamed, short with you, seems like you want to shoot her, just let her know you care and then encourage her to take a day for her and let her enjoy it by telling her you'll be waiting for her, or that you hope she gets what she needs, but in nicer more loving words. Chicks need mushy stuff, I don't know why but if you don't show her enough she won't understand. Be blunt, not difficult. Kinky huh?
just do stuff for her, she'll become more.....patient with your needs as you go along. =)

Anyways that's just what's been up.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Bathroom Stories

You know when a girl needs to talk when she says to her friends, "Let's go to the bathroom." There is something about a bathroom that makes them want to just chatter away about their new exciting adventure or the "good old days" even if they actually NEED to go they still find things to talk about in FULL detail.

Some of the best conversations can happen in the bathroom, not like you'll get proposed in the bathroom ( but if you do congrats! ) but the bathroom holds most secrets you don't tell others except your bathroom buddies. Yes we have bathroom buddies, they happen to be the people you are most comfortable sharing things with, and vise versa. But what I find amusing is that a bathroom is meant for ... discharging certain wastes. You's a bathroom, it's stinky.

My best times in a bathroom is probably every time I go just to talk to a friend about things we can't say in front of guys! ( Sorry guys but there are things girls say that you might never hear! )

So remember if you're on your way to the bathroom, bring a buddy!

To my Aimee!

Hello Beautiful!

I hope you've been having a spectacular day.
I want you to know that having you as my newly acquired sister has made me more complete! When you proposed we be sisters I thought my heart would explode from silly happy goodness. I hope that when the world stops we are still together, old and decrepit with the skin falling off our bones.

Well anyways I want to tell you that if you're blue, remember I'll help you be

(yellow? is that a happy color? personally I think blue is a very happy color depending on the shade. anyways we'll say yellow because I've already said blue for sad and there's no use crying about it now.)

I'll help you fell yellow! Because when you're sad the world is sad. But when you smile the world smiles brighter for everyone! And when you're nude the world gets ever brighter! Well not just because of the fact that you're nude, but that fact that you're happy and nude. Because if you was sad and nude, the world would be so confused.
So buck up cow....girl. And remember that if no one will love you I will!
And if everyone will love you......I will too!
Anyways I love this blogging thing, I'm addicted, so until I feel like emailing you again and decide to put up a blog instead, I love you have wonderful happy time in whatever you do!
even if you're nude.

Friday, December 5, 2008

A bum's life is something to be proud of!

My dearest younger brother is somewhat of a jerk sometimes, other times he's just a peach.
But one day I was talking to my auntie, when she asked me,"So Becca what have you been doing with yourself?" My reply was simple but honest. I said,"absolutely nothing." I grinned and she shrugged.
My brother however told me that one day I'd regret not having any responsibilities this time in my life, I'd look back and wish I'd done something with my life.

I thought for a while, I just turned eighteen, I got out of high school early, and I have no job to speak of. I sleep until one, I eat when I'm hungry, play Nintendo or watch a movie if I get bored, stay up with friends till three or four then do it all over again.....I thought some more, since I'm eighteen I can go where I please on my own account now, I could take a trip somewhere if I really wanted, I could stay with a friend or family member, I could walk to the theater, or swim in the river, whatever.
Then I smiled again.
Because I was living the life most teenagers dream of, I'm living the sweet life of a bum.
And since it's only until I get a job in like February or something, it's not like I'm wasting my life on nothing, I'm currently taking a break on life. Most people would kill to get this opportunity, and I will look back and remember these days, but not with regret. No with dignity and pride, and envy.
I must say that right now the outdoors are most beautiful because I have time to enjoy it, the meals I eat are more tasty, and the things I do are most precious.

I have to say being a bum RULES!
(for now anyways =) )

A new rooster.

My beautiful sister Jessie!

I'm so happy you found a guy right for you!
No offense to the other guys, but I never really liked them as your "boyfriend" or even as your "special friend" or really as your "friend". But I really can appreciate this Gunther of yours, he really knows how to treat you, one who finally deserves you!
You were just too good for those other guys you liked to be with, and Gunther likes to be with you AND talk with you, what a peach!

Anyways I just want you to know, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, that I wish you two the bestest "relationship" ever and I'm always here if you need to talk,share,snuggle,watch girlie movies, whatever.
You know I was talking about him today, and I found out all the perfect things he reminds me of! Now I want you to picture these things as Gaven then you can rebuke them okay?

Gaven : A cantaloupe
Gaven : A Rollie pollie
Gaven : A sunflower
Gaven : A Golden retriever
Gaven : A spoon
Gaven : A sprite
Gaven : A caterpie (yes a Pokemon.)
And last but not least,
Gaven: A Wookie.

so how about it? I think he could be all of those things! Some people agree with me, and I felt so amazing, because I am so very amazing!
Well enjoy your new man, and remember I approve with the highest respect,
But I still think he's a fruit.
Love you!

Dear Nessa,

I am blogging to you in earnest, because...well I miss you lots. We always have the best of times when we're together, and it only happens once in a blue moon (whatever that means)
So I will blog to you to say that our adventure last weekend was pretty much the best one that weekend, and I'd like to add more to the Becca and Nessa show you know what I mean?
You always make my day easier! Like that one time we skipped all our classes and just sat under a tree and talked all day, or the other time we got frosty's and junk with Hope and we started to scare her with our strange rantings!
And who could forget the night at the park we watched those nerds play battle guard?

And now I want you to know I sing "fuck yeah" after everything I randomly say. So I think I speak for everyone when I say I need a healthy does of you because I have LackofNessatidus. It's a nasty disease, and I suffer from it often.
Meaning when I'm sitting at home with nothing to do all day.
Very often. So please answer this blog with a pit stop to my house!
Love you lots!

Thursday, December 4, 2008


I'm happy!
I don't know why.
My mom says that if you choose to be happy you are, and well...I'm not sure if I actually chose to be happy, I just woke up this way.
I call it my natural high day.
I wonder how many people actually experiance this, because it's not just I feel really happy, I actually feel like I'm high.
I mean I couldn't tell you what I was writing about right now, because I'm just too happy. ANd even though this might nit not make sense you all still read it, like you love it. Because you must do , I'm awesome and stuff.
yoU KNOW WHAT i WANT to know?
I want to know what makes blogging so fun? I mean is it the fact you know people are going to read it? or is it the fact that you're making yourself known to complete strangers without ever meeting them like we're famous or something.
I don't know unfortunately but this is fun. Maybe it's D all of the above.
well i think I'll sleep it off.

Hello again to my many empty blog fans!
I'm bored and waiting for my friend to come and get me, she's still on her date so this may take a while.

Anyways I wish to talk to you fine people about buttons. I know my last one was about pennies, but I think that the simple things in life should be mentioned too, they're what we take for granted, not realizing how very important they really are.
Buttons help us get dressed, get to work on time, they give us coffee in the mornings, dispense candy, even help us cook our food without burning it.
They work our DVD players, turn up the heat or air conditioner, they rule.
And I know you're thinking, " hey I don't need those things, I could get on without them, so what's the big deal?" My point is that we could get on without those things, but we're living in some really suckish times, where we depend upon these tiny things to get our lives in gear! I mean if we are grumpy in the mornings we don't say,"sorry I'm so grumpy, I should really try to focus on being positive in the mornings!" then get on with it, we blame our beds and bear our ugly faces all day saying, " I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you better not piss me off today."
So stop for a moment and say, " thank you dear button for existing so I can get dressed today! or thank you candle for providing a certain mood!" Get up and thank every small thing, because you never know if one day they wake up from their hyper sleep and say , "hey I'm not appreciated in this world, even if my role is small I play a roll and should get some credit!" then they go gallivanting off to another planet to assist a less greedy species.
And while you're at it thank a less important person too, someone you don't ever think about, like the garbage man, or the guy at the DMV.
Think about it, your life may be busy or hectic, but why? You made it that way, so one day just take it slow to appreciate the small things in life, because you'll never know when they come back to help........or not.

One Lucky Penny.

You know, everywhere you look you see pennies. On the street, in your couch, under the rug.
You get the Idea.
Now I see people throw perfectly good pennies on the ground, at their neighbors, into those little penny holders at the grocery store. My question to you is why?
I mean pennies are money as much as a quarter is, just worth a little less is all.
I mean if you took one fat baby and one skinny baby and threw the skinny baby out, how do you think that skinny baby would feel?
Bad. That baby would feel very bad.
Same concept with a penny.

I have a plan to save all unwanted pennies.
You see I have this huge tin I'm filling with pennies, every penny I see I snatch and drop it into my tin O pennies. Because one day the world is going to become ruined, and there will be mayhem and disorder, and money will be scarce. But I'll have the whole world wrapped around my finger because I took the time to pick up a penny. Now I hope pennies will be taken more seriously, because they are my very favorite coin in the world!

Aimee, if I were a lesbian.

So I bet you're wondering about my title. Most people do, but this goes out to my Aimee.

If I were a Lesbian I'd find us a place to meet!
I'd tell you you were beautiful, and then we'd go eat,
Tomasso's, you're favorite place to get sweets.
Then I'd say everything to make you feel like a treat!

If I were a Lesbian I'd get us a car to the moon,
I'd say it was jealous of you, and you'd swoon.
I'd catch you a falling star around noon,
and we'd show up that dumb dish and the spoon!

If I were a Lesbian we'd make lezbo love,
covered in that good smelling soap called dove,
I can't think of anything else that rhymes with this word,
so just give me a hug and call me a nerd.

Aimee all these things I'd do just for you, even if I wasn't a lesbian, I mean even though I'm not a lesbian I'd do that just for you! Because even though in the past we had bumps and a not so good start, you are one of my favorites, and I'm going to miss you when you go to Chill_ay.
So this is just my way of saying I'm gunna miss you!

And to all you other readers I've confused or disturbed get over yourselves. (You'd do it too.)

This is a shout out to all my friends, because sometimes I miss you guys.
This will be my last blog of the day because I can sometimes get addicted to the computer, as do all the other bloggers I would guess, because they spend alot of time reading and blogging instead of.....well no offense but instead of living.
Computers are great to contact friends, relatives, and lovers and stuff, but shouldn't be used for more than three hours unless it's actually needed.

Anyways I blog to you now because right now is one of those times I'm missing you.
Friends are important. They sit in jail with you and encourage you with "Hell yeah that was awesome! Once we get out let's do it again, but not get caught." And you think back shake your head and just barely mumble to yourself....."ah good times."
Friends always make the world a better place to be, kind of like weed. It makes you happy, over the top, energetic, sometimes a little sick, but mostly just satisfied. If I could say which friends made my life better I would say all, because each friend is good for any situation I get us into, (notice I say I.) I don't know why humans need other humans to be happy, it's some kind of attraction we have, magnetic or not we get pulled together for all kinds of different form of companionship. so to all my good friends who have been there in the grand times, in the good times, and in the piece of crap times all I have to say is thank you for being magnetically attracted to this hunk of flesh. I appreciate it, I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Duck of the future.

Today is my first blog.
So I'm typing with a duck nose on.
Because if I'm going to sit here and send out blogs to you people, I might as well look awesome too. You see....most people live life trying to make ends meet, and in the process they lose what's most important to them. Now you must be thinking, "Typing a blog with a duck nose is important?"
well the answer is yes.
It doesn't have to actually be a duck nose, my point is that I am having fun writing to you with this duck nose. I feel like typing this has a special message even though you can't see me.

My good friend Aimee, is like a sister to me. This is one of my many farewells I will send to her until she returns. And I'm certain that she'll appreciate the duck nose, because it belongs to her and happens to be her favorite.
I'm sure that in the future everyone will wear duck noses to cheer their loved ones up. Not that she's sad, she's just going to miss her home here while she's gone. And when she reads this I know she'll picture me and laugh, now you see my point.

So make someone you know happy and wear a duck nose, just for them.