Thursday, April 9, 2009

Too much of a good thing

Well it has officially been a week and a half since I started my new job in Idaho raising potato children! And I've had an epiphany, so I must say to all the mothers out there: YOU are super amazing! Because as much as I love kids, playing and running and screaming and biting (it's all in good fun right?) I'm pooped. I can't imagine doing this full time! I mean I work a lot, but I get away at five or so and I get Fridays off.
And in those days I work I have developed eight bruises, gotten six cuts, one bloody nose, and three sets of teeth imprints on my arms. WEEEEEEEEEE~
I mean kids are so funny, and I love playing with them, but man can they have attitudes; And I think I might blow a gasket if I have to change another kids poopy underwear accident!
But I can't say all the bad things then I'll sound like I'm miserable, and I'm not. When my class of three year olds aren't being crazy, they're really fun! I have heard the best stories about space, and dinosaurs, and adventures that have made me laugh out loud, usually in the kids faces too, but they don't mind. I have also had kids jumping up and down and playing hide and go seek, and kids climbing up and down on me saying that they like me, and force feeding me their awful organic dairy free cheese, or showing me their little babies as they fall out of their tummies, or having little snotty sneezes right in my face followed by a heart filled apology and some high pitched squeals of delight as I slowly wipe off the debree *sigh* this is the life!
I'm not having kids for a long time.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Secret Ingredients

Okay here's a thinker!

If you were told by some ancient brain, like Gandhi, or Plato, that you were the secret ingredient to life, that every move you made determined the future, how would you react?

Like if you decided that your favorite sandwich was peanut butter and jelly, then you made it for your kids, and they made it for their kids, until the whole future worshiped PB&J's all because of you. And they named cities after you, and PB&J's had monuments build in Egypt, all because you decided that PB&J's were the best thing in sandwich history, what would you do?
My brother says he would make everyone wear top hats on Tuesdays and talk backwards, which I think might be the best reply I've gotten from this question. He would turn abnormalities into the "in thing" of the future, turning differences into a good thing. He's smart for a twelve year old you know, most twelve year olds are weird and hormonal. Ew.
I think I would make everyone wear different colored socks and burst into song randomly, and when it was rainy or windy people would have kite flying races or catch the rain in little cups! We could live like the who's! Yes the Dr.Seuss who's.
I think it would be sweet.
Why does the world look "down upon" people who are different anyway? I think it's sick the way people treat others.....Anyways think about could pick anything in the world that could change!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Amazing me!

Well I don't know how, but I'm following my own blog!
Because I rock.
Anyways This blog is to enlighten those of you who stress out, feel lonely, because YOU need a hug!
I know there are alot of those free hugs people who just want your love! Or a family member who doesn't show it, but feels lonely or upset, or for no reason at all, just give a hug.
I find hugs release tension, makes you feel cared for and just plain old happy! Giving hugs is addicting, I can't make it one day without hugging my dad, sister, my pillow, even myself when there's no one around! So whoever you might be next to, who ever, give them a big hug and spread the happiness! Heck hug a tree for all I care, for those of you who are hippies or just old tree huggers, HUGS NOT DRUGS!
the reason why I so passionately write about hugging is because I recently acquired a job, which requires me to move away from my family and friends, I'm excited to be going off on my own, but I'm a little scared too. I've never moved out before and my family won't be there everytime I need them! So while I am here for these next few short days, I'm going to get my fill! And I think that everyone needs to stop every once in a while and realize who they have and just hug them, because you never know when they'll need it, you never know exactly why....but sometimes it's all that matters.

I mean seriously.......what the hell?

Okay This blog might surprise you, it might shock you, it might hunt you down and get you. But it must be done!
Today I'm blogging about probably God's worst creation,the most pointless, freaky thing in the world...
Everything happens for a reason....except for clowns I mean what the hell?!
Who came up with the Idea to dress up in huge pants and scary face make up and chase around small children trying to make them laugh but in all seriousness, scaring the living crap out of them and possibly giving them nightmares forever?!
I was watching this cartoon on Nickelodeon where the mom to this boy hires a clown for his birthday party, but the clown was really like this evil guy come to eat him or something, it was freaking scary man. Which got me to ponder, What would posses a mother to rent a little kids nightmare to come to his or her birthday party??!!
"Hey Timmy, guess who we got for your birthday party! It's Satan! He's going to make you balloons and maybe eat your little five year old soul!"
I mean COME ON! No little kid wants a clown at his birthday party, or even anywhere near him EVER! Have you ever even seen a kid laugh at a clown? I haven't, they always get this expression on their face that says dear god, what have you done? There's no way that's uncle Doug, no way......
that's the devil.
You think they can't tell but they know.

Then I watched a Simpsons episode and it was spot on. It's the episode where Bart is a little kid and Lisa is about to be born, and Homer is trying to get Bart to sleep in a bed so Lisa can have the crib. So he makes him a clown bed. Bart sits in the bed all night rocking back and forth saying, "Can't sleep clown will eat me.." Over and over again.
That's exactly how EVERY kid feels.
So parents stop and think before you go out and get a clown, DON'T. It will save you money, and spare your child nightmares and or irrational fears when they get older. I promise, buy your kid a barbie Jeep, or some Bibi guns,they'll thank you.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Deep fried Peanut butter and Jelly

Have you ever been curious?
It happens to the best of us in the worst of times....anywho today I thought that I needed to do something happy in order to make me well.......happy duh! But I had no clue what I could do in Provo. I don't think anyone can ever have plans really because there's NOTHING to DO here! especially during the day, SO I decided to do what I normally enjoy, eating. I looked into the cupboard and fridge to find something to munch but all I could find was enormous amounts of butter, two eggs, (not AIGS eggs) bread, frozen fish, cat food, tuna, mayo, peanut butter, moldy bagels, chocolate chips, lime Cheetos, And jelly. I did find more but I think you get the idea! The idea being, there wasn't anything good to eat in my fridge and or cupboard.
I wanted something hot, I don't know why but being of the female species I crave strange things and I wanted something HOT! so I got out a pan and weighed my options. Grilled cheese sandwich....yeah. that sounded delicious, but alas the world was out of cheese. =( then I thought PB and J. So I put a bunch of butter on the pan and fried me up a PB and J.
At first I thought I was crazy to actually eat it, I'll just cook it because I'm bored. But it couldn't hurt to try it right?
Now I can tell you now that it was the BEST PB and J I have ever tasted! It's the sandwich of the future!
It was delicious, so now I recommend it to all of you who actually read my blogs, fry yourself up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because I told you to, and when you don't listen to my command I eat your babies. That's just what happens so yeah!
just thought I'd share that!
until next time I guess, and if you treasure your babies, I'd do it!

Monday, January 19, 2009

The epideme of Beccaness

Today is a great day for me!
The sun is shiny outside, and that means all the snow is melting, (too slowly, but that's better than not at all....)I woke up early in a dancing mood. So I listened to like twelve Cd's while getting dressed, putting on my make up, eating breakfast, etc.
I couldn't help it!
And I danced to each and every song!

My brother says it's his favorite mood of mine that I randomly have.


Anyways my dad says it's the epideme of me, which I find to be almost exactly right! I say almost because I like it when I'm singing and dancing like a crazy drunk person, I have the whitest ghetto moves you'll ever see, and my voice cracks like a plumbers butt on a hot day.

Okay that was gross, but you get the picture!
Then of course just like me, I fell asleep before I could accomplish anything useful.
So there it is, the greatness of my day!

And remember, Bolimea, twice the flavor, zero the calories!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

White crayons

First off I just want to say, "dfshaklsdjfhasopirugwseifoo."
Secondly I want to add, I totally woke up this afternoon at three!

And now I will start my blog, I need to step into my blogger state of mind.
*deep breath* Okay!
Today I want to comment on the uselessness of white crayons. Or as the Utes here in Utah say "crowns".
Last night before all hell broke loose because of the new years eve festivities, I was coloring a picture for my honey jar friend! I really enjoy writing things to her then adding pictures so she can see how I awesome my stories are when she gets the correct mental image! Anyways I was looking through the crayon box for a black crayon, and started cussing at the box because it held no black crayon. I mean what kind of crayon box possesses no black crayon? A RETARDED ONE is the correct answer.
I know you're probably thinking I was drunk, because everyone gets drunk on new years eve and stars F bombing crayon boxes...but let me assure you I wasn't drunk. It was only six, and new years drinking starts at eleven.
And this was when I realized that in place of the black crayon ( Which I direly needed.) was two white crayons.....that's when I stopped to think, "Why do you even exist little white crayons? You hold no purpose."
I mean have you ever used a white crayon to do anything other than leave secret messages? I haven't.
I think the Crayola company couldn't think of anymore weird macaroni. I mean macaroni is orange, it doesn't have it's own color, just a shade of orange. So anyways I bet they couldn't find a color to make the box complete so they thought up the very annoying idea to put in a color that doesn't color. I mean when you color with a white crayon, it doesn't even come out as a whiter white on the paper, IT LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME! I mean if it made a solid bleached white color I might use it, but it doesn't. They should change the color name from white to paper, because that's exactly what it looks like.
Anyways that's what's been pissing me off, now you can share my anger and together we can take over the world! ( well until I over through you....then I can rule the world. )