Monday, July 19, 2010

Survival tips to handling the elderly in your life

So I have, for the past few months been living with my grandparents. I have to admit it was difficult adjusting to their lifestyles and habits. I'm sure they could say the same about me, but I realized in my studies of their elderly ways that old people, though intimidating and strange, have their leaky spots as well as younger people; all it takes is a little quiet observation to find these things!
Well I had a nice long observation period and now I'm going to share my discoveries with the world! The first thing I ever noticed about old people is that when they get together all they do is brag about what they're doing with their yards, always trying to one up the other old people! It's constant gabble about landscaping and what they're planning next to bring in even more comfort to an already perfected environment, and my favorite characteristic that all old people share is they actually KNOW the professional or even latin name of the stone, bush, rock, gravel, dirt, grass, or tree like it's really important. it never fails to make me laugh!
"Oh well, my pool is really big, one of those square ones. I set the tile myself, it's real RED SAND STONE FLAT ROCK! Real hard to get that in paved tile these days! OH the shrubbary around my porch swing? nice isn't it? it's rare silver lambs ear shrub also called aquaticus lambus brush, and it smells like rosemary. OH yeah! my wife loves it!" haha...old people....

Another realization I have come to is that all old people like to make fun of things just like us young kids! And guess what they make fun of? yep, us! They're constantly taking something that we "youngins" take interest in and gab about it to eachother, it's mostly things they never had or things they don't understand, such as ipods, cell phones, friends, dvds, areosol cans, cd players, laptops, and video games.
"kids these days, so caught up in those colored tv's, those ear buds in their ears, why can't they act like us? hard work and discipline That's what they need!"
"oh I agree Ted! So hard to get anything into these kids that doesn't involve food, music or sex!" Oh Ted, oh Mary, cheer up! We have our world and you yours! can't we just be friends?

the last major thing I noticed is that all old people like to seem like they know everything about...well....everything! and that they're always right!
Old people are full of random facts and thousands of stories that intertwine themselves in with these random facts. Wisdom is what they call it.
"you see that faint light around the moon? that's called earth light, relfection of the sun off the oceans that hits the other side of the moon we can't see! Oh which reminds me of this one time when I was younger where I made these choices and regret this and wish I could go back to that." Old people just want to close that gap between them and us, So here are my tips for when your grandparents, parents, or even the old neighbors come for a visit!

Step one: put away or turn off all electronic devices that might cause a distraction, take the attention away from your conversation, or make a loud and sudden noise, such as cell phones, ipods, video games, the television, radio, small children.....maybe even the blender....
Step two: Have a list of conversation starters they might take interest in! Such as how their yard, garden, or recent remodeling is going! Maybe throw some interesting "facts" about a certain bird or insect that might be good or hazardous to certain plants.
Step three: Listen to their stories! pay attention, ask questions, and nod alot!
When you're elderly leave they will feel appreciated and loved, and perhaps a little more patient with you and your crazy young people syndrome.

I hope these tips are helpfull for you and your elderly!
I will continue my researches, for I know there is still so much to understand about the elderly and so much I can bring to the youth of society! Enjoy and practice these steps with your friends to perfect them before using them on actual elderly.

Friday, January 1, 2010

ALL GROWN UP! well.....technically......

Wow, it's been like foreve since I've been on my blog. I forgot my password and today on this lovely 2010 day I decided to try and log on and my password was the same as my facebook password! isn't that just lovely?
I bet you all (my five adoring fans...including myself) were wondering where I went? Of course, so do I!
Anyways it's a new year and I need a hip replacement because I'm so old. LOL... that's not funny. my Grandma is getting one of those.....sorry grandma!
Anyways I was so deprived of my blog this year....well last year, that I made a new one, and now I feel guilty because I just know I am going to neglect one, and it's going to get depressed and do drugs and "party" and get really thin and throw up all the time.....just like Lindsy Lohan. Sigh. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I mean I'll try to love both the same, but I like this one better because I have been with it so long and I'm comfortable with it. Also because I have followers on this one who might actually read what I have to say! HOORAY!
Anyways this is just a post to reassure everyone that I am back on my blogging track! (which means I don't have a life! WOOT!) lolz so it's going to be like party central up in here!